Kiwi art student tries hard to pretend she’s not 100% on the All Blacks side for new changes – The Betoota Advocate


As the march towards the 2023 Rugby World Cup begins in France, more eyes than ever are following the mid-year tests.

With Bledisloe, the Spring Tour and RWC exhibition games ahead of us, nobody drools for this abundance of rugby more than fans of the most successful professional sports team in history – the New Zealand All Blacks.

That is, except for the trendy Kiwi creatives who have relocated to Australia to rebrand themselves as secular post-national creatives uninterested in sports.

Local arts student Alexandra Gisborne, 19, says yes it’s hard to avoid rugby in New Zealand but she’s never paid much attention to the 15-man code.

“Not really my thing,” she says to her art students in class today.

“I don’t care that much about the toxicity of contact sports and I think footballers are quite right”

“They are treated like gods and act like thugs”

These comments, which are rife among Kiwi academics and creatives, appear to be in direct contrast to the fading silver fern tattoo on Alexandra’s wrist.

“Oh that, that’s nothing,” she said.

“It’s ironic. Just as many of my art practitioners have questioned my home country’s obsession with rugby union.”

Alexandra’s eyes begin to flicker with a roaring flame and she continues.

“For example, there is so much happening in the world. It amazes me that the New Zealand media cycle focuses solely on the fact that Fozzie (the All Blacks manager) is making some interesting selections,” she laughed.

“Or that Willy J doesn’t get a start despite having two crazy dominant super rugby seasons.”

“Jordie is just a bigger body and it makes sense to have him against the physical Irish team who are going to kick the ball in his throat.”

At this point, Alexandra realizes that the number is over. She sighs and accepts her fate as a degenerate All Blacks fan.

“It’s hard to fit into both worlds while maintaining my status as a contemporary artist and a die-hard Wairapa Bush girl,” she says.

“The piece I just started is called ‘Balance’ and it was actually inspired by the potential of having all of our top three 7’s all start in the same backrow.

“I’m very excited to see how Dalts will develop at the age of six”

“He does all the tough stuff but also has an untapped ballplay ability I think which Sam Cane lacks.”

“He’s probably over it, I think”


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